Karen Restivo
In Other Words...
There is a conversation happening inside you right now.
It never fully stops - not when you’re working, resting, or lying awake at 2 a.m. staring at the ceiling.
It is the internal narrative, the running commentary of your life, and it speaks in two very distinct voices - the voice of fear and the voice of love.
The voice of fear is the louder of the two.
It has had years of practice. It learned its first words from disappointment, rejection, and survival.
It speaks in absolutes - you’re not enough, you’ll fail, they don’t really like you, stay small, stay safe.
It disguises itself as wisdom, calling itself “just being realistic.”
It wraps anxiety in the language of preparation and calls self-doubt “humility.”
And because it has kept us from certain dangers, we have learned to trust it - even when it no longer serves us. Fear narrows. It contracts. It convinces us that the wall we’ve built is a home.
The voice of love is quieter, but it is always there.
It speaks in possibility.
You can do this. You are worthy. Try again. Forgive yourself. Forgive them. Love’s voice doesn’t shout because it has nothing to prove.
It simply waits, patient and persistent, for a moment of stillness in which you might finally hear it.
Love expands. It opens. It reminds you that you are more than your worst day and bigger than your deepest fear.
The real work of a meaningful life is learning to tell these two voices apart - because they don’t announce themselves clearly.
Fear can dress up as caution. Love can dress up as recklessness.
Discernment takes practice.
A useful question to ask in any moment of inner conflict is this: Is this thought contracting me or expanding me?
Fear closes doors.
Love opens them.
Fear protects the ego.
Love transcends it.
Neither voice is your enemy. Fear was born to protect you.
But it was never meant to lead you.
Psychologist & coach Penelope Michaelidou puts it this way, “What if I told you most people don’t have a life problem. They have a narrative problem. They repeat a story about their past. What happened. What hurt. What didn’t work.”
It comes down to whether our story comes from power or pain.
According to Michaelidou, “Every time you retell your pain, you are not just remembering it. You are re-living it. Your body cannot tell the difference. Repeat a story enough times and it stops being memory.
It becomes identity:
Love
-This built me
-This trained me
-I can handle anything
-I have what it takes
Pain
-This ruined me
-My life could have been different
-I was given too much to handle
-I can’t change now
Preparation is key. Here’s a few suggestions from the author’s checklist:
-Catch the story the moment it starts.
-Catch yourself and ask: is this memory or rehearsal?
-Change your language in real time.
-Move your body immediately.
Note the acronym FEAR- False Evidence Appearing Real.
Choosing love isn’t just about affection; it’s about choosing growth, vulnerability, and connection.
In other words, stop being a prisoner of your past and choose a narrative that shares the insight and wisdom you’ve gained from overcoming your fears.
Karenrestivo57@gmail.com