Karen Restivo
In Other Words....
Heads Up! There is no such word as “their-esteem”, so stop comparing yourself to others around you.
Self-esteem reflects your overall sense of self-worth.
Here we find a wide bridge in self-concept.
Low self-esteem can be linked to depression when you compare yourself to others around you; whereas extreme self-esteem catapults you to the feeling of entitlement compared to others around you.
Let’s focus on finding a balance in the middle.
Society teaches us to chase the ever-fleeting concept of perfection in our personal and professional life.
We find ourselves in a revolving door seeking happiness in where we are going instead of who we are becoming.
Happiness comes from within residing with our self-confidence and positive self-esteem.
Once we access our happiness from within, the rest of our life will fall into place.
Granted, healthy competition helps us to step out of our comfort zone and grow, but it’s never meant to override our path to becoming our authentic self.
Author Jennice Vilhauer writes in her article 4 Ways to Stop Beating Yourself Up, Once and For All, about the inner critic in all of us.
She notes, “Like it or not, everything you say to yourself matters. The inner critic isn’t harmless.
“It inhibits you, limits you, and stops you from pursuing the life you truly want to live.
“It robs you of peace of mind and emotional well-being and, if left unchecked long enough, it can even lead to serious mental health problems like depression or anxiety.”
The following are four steps Vilhauer came up with to assist in steering clear of negative self-talk:
Notice the critic.
To gain control over your inner critic you must first be aware of it.
During every conscious moment, we have an inner dialogue with ourselves.
Separate the critic from you.
The inner critic doesn’t want you to notice it.
It thrives best when you mistake it for being part of your authentic self.
Talk back.
Talking back to your inner critic is an important part of taking away its power.
When you hear the inner critic start to speak, tell it to go away. Tell it you refuse to listen.
Replace the critic.
The best way to defeat the critic is to have an even stronger ally on your side.
You need to grow an inner voice that acts as your own best friend.
To do this, you need to start noticing the good things about yourself.
Vilhauer explains, “Because of the way our brain works, we all have an automatic selective filtering system that will look for evidence in our environment that matches up with whatever we believe to be true about ourselves.”
Remember, words have power.
We can learn to set boundaries to protect ourselves from things being said about us that have no true merit in our growth.
But we must police our inner critic from jeopardizing our ability to grow into the self-confident, authentic person we are meant to become.
In other words, your value doesn’t come from what you are but who you are!
Karenrestivbo57@gmail.com