You know that moment when nostalgia for something hits so hard that you can’t think of anything else?
Most of the time when I have one of those instances I can quickly remedy or distract myself from them – it’s the more persistent ones that keep cropping back up every few weeks or months that I struggle with.
A few years ago when I was working two jobs I was able to indulge a little and take care of a handful of those lingering and perpetual backburner “needs.”
I call them “needs’ because there seems to be more weight given to them outside of just being a “want.”
After handling those “needs,” things were great and I didn’t have many “needs” left gnawing at the edges of my impulse-control reflexes.
And, if you ask my mom, you’ll hear that my impulse control isn’t really that great to begin with!
I just maintain that I deserve a few treats for braving the untamed wilds of HEB on Sundays for her.
But, that aside, I’ve also learned my impulsivity is part of my ADHD diagnosis and now things make a bit more sense.
Still, when it comes to satisfying nostalgic needs I’ve decided to be more selective and carefully curate those items.
After all, if it’s not re-issued for a promotional time only, or coming direct from the manufacturer, then I’m spending a lot of time scouring online.
As it is, I’ve got a working Word document saved with several links to various websites that seem to have these much-needed items in their current shop or catalog.
At the same time, we won’t mention how often I’m putting items on eBay watch lists or other wish list functions like Amazon employs.
I don’t know how to convey the way things from my teen years are labeled as “vintage” or “retro” give me little depression spikes.
Honestly, I’m just trying to try to tune out the fact that it’s been over two decades since I was a teen anyway.
We’re not even going to touch on the ridiculous markup for my childhood toys that I see online now – that’s a different kind of pain!
But, overall, I think the items that I “need” most are ones that were lost on accident, either through friends not returning them when they borrowed them or some unfortunate and accidental damage befalling them.
My latest example is replacing a skirt my late grandmother had given me sometime in my early high school days.
That thing made its home in my wardrobe rotation for about seven years before I loaned it to a college friend and she never gave it back.
And sure, when that happened I just chalked it up to a fact of life and subscribed to the assumption that it had served me long enough and apparently she needed it more.
Recently, I found myself missing said skirt and I’m sure this is tied to continuing to heal the grief of losing my grandmother in 2015 – but now I needed to find that skirt!
Well, after about a year of searching, I finally found it on eBay and am eagerly awaiting its arrival this week.
I’m sure this is a testament to persistence and luck, but now I’m really only hoping to stave off the next incessant “need” that crops up like some sort of zombie to gnaw at my impulse control.
We’ll just have to wait and see, but at the same time I’m going to enjoy my skirt.
