Karen Restivo
In Other Words....
Whoever started the rumor that humans can be in control of life?
Throughout history, wars were fought to gain control rewarding the conquerors with power and control until their own reign was toppled by the next adversary seeking to usurp the power and control for their own.
Talk about history repeating itself over, and over, and over etc.
Closer to home, parents find themselves at times in precarious situations as they maneuver through landmines, booby traps and tripwires steering their children in the right direction shielding them from harm’s way.
We may not have military accreditation for such a noble cause, but most of us feel like our life experiences certainly arm us with the ability to take control of our children’s outcomes.
Between you and me, how’s that working for you?
Me neither.
Author Jeff Foster in his book “The Way of Rest,” reveals a profound truth about just how little control we have over other’s lives.
“You cannot save anyone.
You can be present with them, offer your groundedness, your sanity, your peace.
You can even share your path with them, offer your perspective.
But you cannot take away their pain.
You cannot walk their path for them.
You cannot give answers that are right for them, or even answers they can digest right now.
They will have to find their own answers.”
Foster studied Astrophysics at Cambridge University and during that time struggled with his own period of depression and illness and embarked on an intensive spiritual quest to better understand the illusion of human suffering.
And through his gift of writing, he reveals the seeds of his awakening. He writes, “Perhaps our dreams are there to be broken, and our plans are there to crumble, and our tomorrows are there to dissolve into todays, and perhaps all of this is a giant invitation to wake up from the dream of separation, to awaken from the mirage of control, and embrace whole-heartedly what is present.
Perhaps it is all a call to compassion, to a deep embrace of this universe in all its bliss and pain and bitter-sweet glory.
Perhaps we were never really in control of our lives, and perhaps we are constantly invited to remember this, since we constantly forget it.
Perhaps suffering is not the enemy at all and at its core, there is a first-hand, real-time lesson we must all learn, if we are to be truly human, and truly divine.
Perhaps breakdown always contains breakthrough.
Perhaps suffering is simply a rite of passage, not a test or a punishment, nor a signpost to something in the future or past, but a direct pointer to the mystery of existence itself, here and now.
Perhaps life cannot go ‘wrong’ at all.”
After reading several passages from Foster’s book, I get the sense we might be our own worst enemy when it comes to our desire to control all outcomes.
In other words, we need to get out of our own way, embrace life as is, trusting that all is well and surrender to the moment.
Karenrestivo57@gmail.com